Pattern Interupt

Here I am in the cabin in the hills, surrounded by trees and facing a small lake that's covered with ice. It's snowing, there's a fire burning and I feel very cozy and happy.  Later it's going to be time for a snowshoe adventure.  Zoe and Owen are with Rob (my ex) and my life of laundry, kids, and so forth has been put on a hold for a day of rest.  At times I still mourn my concept of my family living under the same roof.  I feel torn between my life as a mother and my life as me without kids.  The kids are shared 50/50 between their mother and father.  They seem to be adjusting well and yet at times my heart pulls with sorrow at not being able to give them their father and mother together in a happy relationship. I wonder if it's a feeling I will always have or that throughout the years will dissipate.  I guess time will tell... All that said my life is full of wonderful people and I do love this life as a single mom that I have created for myself.  I love my family of 3, my daycare family and the community of friends and family that surround me.

My needles and wool are here with me. I can't seem to put my needles down.  If I am not making something I feel a little out of sorts.   I plan on giving my family members something made from my hands this Christmas.  So I sit here felting birds looking out the window, watching snow falling and I feel good.  I feel gratitude for all that life  brings me.  I truly live a blessed life.  I feel it. I love it.  May your day be blessed with adventures and gratitude for whatever it is that blesses you in this moment.

 Before leaving you, I have to add that our new friend Alfie Wizzle the elf has been really fun to have around.  Again it's my eldest Zoe who is most curious of all. On Friday she swore she saw him move and was convinced that his smile was bigger than the previous day.  He even has me enamored.
Ciao for now...